**this weekend**
posted on Saturday, October 29, 2005 at 04:18 p.m.
my latest couple of projects, in half done form, through a blurry webcam. yah alysia. *laughs*

****
posted on Saturday, October 22, 2005 at 11:07 p.m.
you tell me that i'm beautiful.
like you're completely amazed-
i blush in embarassment
but everyone loves to hear that
when their hairs a mess
and it's the beginning of the day.
you say that i'm beautiful.
marvel in it
like it's a new kind of lighting
and the radiance is overwhelming-
and i smile
because wat woman doesn't love to hear it
after a long day
covered in coffee
and unsatisfying conversation.
you tell me that i'm beautiful.
repeat it everyday
and i smile-
my eyes left silent.
flattered,
but unimpressed.
any stranger can know that about me.
can love that about me.
i thought i'd hear sumthing different frum you.
thought you'd love that i'm covered in paint
and it's blue.
or maybe you'd love the way i wake you up in the morning.
or the way i say your name
or the silly way my hair falls covering my face.
anyone can say i'm beautiful.
i thought you'd think deeper.
see more into the soul
that is left open to you
fried in the light of beauty.

****
posted on Saturday, October 22, 2005 at 02:04 p.m.
returning to this place
seems to be tradition to me.
for me.
the remembrance of the love you gave
and then hurled over the pond.
skipping it like a stone
that could never be thrown again-
you hide that frum me.
created me fragmented and covered in skin
that was never my own.

now, free of you
i should be dancing.
laughing and revealing myself to the sun.
but none has found me there
like you found me here.

here. and yet you are no where
but here.
this tiny shore
that never could have kept you home,
kept you here
and now it's all that contains you.
all that saves you.

that rock thrown,
only furthering the period of sun
in a memory that i should be walking-
not returning.
not ever returning to time
and it's misgiven places of hopes and dreams.

****
posted on Saturday, October 22, 2005 at 02:02 p.m.
starving,
its been days
and i still return to this same place.
the dust resting on my chin,
tempting my tongue.
memories and momentums,
that only begin to erase the tears of what had been.
days upon days reach my ears
and yet none of them touch my soul.
the revival every year
of the blood on my arm
is only for those who parade around
demonstrating
the days that mean to them.
there are no packets of salt hidden up my sleeves,
no thirst for more posion
and they are more ready to give
than ever be given.

**I**
posted on Saturday, October 22, 2005 at 02:01 p.m.
the day awakes.
breaking over what was never thought-
what had already began.
the stones thrown,
only returned in the same pattern.
i'm blind to the timing,
the date,
the place.
but i remember their faces.
their anguish
and my childish fears
of falling apart rushing ahead
as i left behind
the one i loved.
the one i knew better than i ever realized.
thru childish eyes,
their childish hopes were renewed-
were shattered,
and continue to be on that day-
this day.
breaking and unfolding like the tide,
returning ever year to the same wake
to the same sad eyes.