****
posted on Thursday, August 25, 2005 at 01:36 p.m.
getting outta town fer the weekend...will update soon!

**this is just to say. . .**
posted on Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 09:05 p.m.
this is just to say, that i am still alive. still okay.


my poor internet died tho. *frowns*

****
posted on Friday, August 5, 2005 at 10:34 p.m.
so, here i am sitting in front of this monitor.
just sitting.
not really sure wat to think.
one moment my poetry is awesome and consuming and all i'm living for and the next i feel abandoned by the pen. by the passion.
it all just seems frustrating and exhausting right now.
And orange juice tastes good.

**more poetry**
posted on Monday, August 1, 2005 at 07:50 p.m.
the colors surround her
and yet none can conceal.
none can fill in the blanks that she keeps erasing
all these years.

so much effort is in the fight.
she used to tell me.
she used to talk
and her eyes would light up.
she'd look so alive.

looking at her now
you wouldn't ever guess
you wouldn't ever see
the ghost
in your present.

pale skin.
falling
faded eyes.
the grays only consume her soul
and there's no more thorns
sticking out
to grab hold of her
shamelessness.

it's been the death of her.
it's been the life of her.
and she can't even begin
to try 'n' lift her mind
to the aspects of wat she could have been.

swollowing the pills.
she just returns to line up more.
she doesn't know wat the colors
and lines
add up to anymore.
guess she lost the excuse
when she found
wat she was looking for.

****
posted on Monday, August 1, 2005 at 07:21 p.m.
Off the handle
Of the clay spun
In an artfull realization
Of animal instinct
Upon youth unbegun.

Surprised-
There are words already
On the page
Telling of bedtime stories
Of truth-
Rape, suicide
The drugs that take it all away-

Don’t be afraid
To walk away
The stone statue
Already knows the fear
In your eyes-

The immense pain
Of tearing away
Rightful meanings never expressed

Because there was simply
Nothing to say.

****
posted on Monday, August 1, 2005 at 07:03 p.m.
I ran into my "step-bro" Chris the other day and can't stop thinking about it.
we went frum so close, to never talking again.
and now we're back to talking again.
i hope in this second chance we have, we are able to reconnect.
it was great having sumone to sit with inside the L-dot-C *laughs*
i'm still such a geek.

**this is just to say. . .**
posted on Friday, July 29, 2005 at 09:40 p.m.
This is just an update to say that the bread i made the other day.. .. . .

is absolutely wonderful.
*grins*